Meandering Along

Danielle felt inspired to interview me.

She thought it would be cool if I linked it, so yeah. I’ll admit that I love doing links like this. Makes me feel powerful.

Within the very near future no one (besides myself) is going to be able to access this blog. I’m going to be working on it for a few days. When it’s done, I’ll open it back up to the general public. It’s just that…you’ll see some changes… So try not to have a heartattack if you should see that the theme is different. I’ve had this theme forever, and I am sick of it. Sure, I think it’s absolutely gorgeous. That’s why I picked it. But I’ve had it since summer of 2007. The only reason I’ve stuck with it so long is because any other themes that I like were already taken by other people. I love WordPress and all, but I wish they had more theme options. Seriously. There’s some cool WordPress themes, but not a whole lot.

At any rate….

I just wanted to warn ya’ll before I started anything. So wish me luck with all the changes.

Re the title of this post: For no particular reason I decided that the title should have absolutely nothing to do with this post.

So….
I had the SAT yesterday. I’m actually feeling pretty confident about how I did. I totally burned through the English stuff. I mean, seriously. It was not that hard. It’s the math that gives me trouble, and it’s not even that the math is incredibly hard. It’s that I like to take my time when doing math. Unfortunately, there are time limits on all the sections. I would have like ten to fifteen minutes left on the other sections and I’d have to wait for the time to run out. Why couldn’t I take the time that I spent twiddling my thumbs and put it toward my math sections? Honestly. That would make my test-taking-freaked-out-ness drop considerably.

Anyhow…

Oh, one more thing about the SAT. I totally saw this guy who looked disturbingly like Joe Jonas. I am not kidding. It was scary. I wish I had a picture so I could show ya’ll.

Today is a totally epic day, and I shall tell my kids about it so they can remind me of it when I’m old and have lost my memory. One year ago today, Anilee was converted to Grobanism. I have such good memories of that day and the days that followed. So congrats to her and the day she finally saw the light.

(And to think she said, “I will not be corrupted.” Poor dear underestimated the power of her friends. )

I think I figured out my favorite form of happiness. Contentedness. There have been times when I was over, above, and beyond happy, but that was always short-lived. Contentedness can last if I let it. Sure, I am totally upset that writing has been nothing but epic fail for me, but I can still read. I’m frustrated with some relationships in my life right now, but with a little talking and empathy that can be taken care of. Life isn’t perfect, and it isn’t easy. Extreme happiness comes and goes. Extreme sadness comes and goes. There’s a season for everything. But even in extreme sorrow or happiness, I can remain content. What’s the point in always being sad? Where is the joy in that? We were all given lives; we ought to use them in some way. There’s nothing wrong with being very happy. But as soon as that happiness goes, we tend to plunge into despair. Well, I want to plunge into contentedness. I am blessed in so many ways. I can’t even begin to count them. Despite any problems I’ve been having, I am a fortunate person. I may not want to take the SAT this Saturday, but taking that test is going to help me get into college later. My parents can afford to send me to a good college that will prepare me for life. When I get really upset, I remind myself that I need to be content. I need to be a happier person. When the euphoria of extreme happiness wears away and leaves me feeling empty, I remind myself that I need to be content. I feel like being content has saved my mental sanity lately. Things were getting really bad and I was seriously going crazy. But then I realized that life didn’t have to be like that. There’s no reason to be sad all the time. And now I’ve realized that contentedness leads to a rather permanent form of happiness.

So…

I smile at that lady at the check out counter. I tell her I hope she has a wonderful day, and I say it like I mean it. Okay, so maybe she gave me a totally weird look, but I’d like to think that when she went home, she was glad that someone took the time to be sincere. Honestly, if you’re not going to be sincere in what you say to people, there is no reason to talk at all. I cannot tell you how much I loathe it when I can tell someone is being totally and completely insincere with me. People with fake manners and whatnot bug me so much. And it’s funny I should be talking about sincerity when I’m one of the most sarcastic persons I know. Well, there’s a time and place for sarcasm. I’m not really one to say things as I think them. I think a lot of things that I should not say, and I’m glad I seem to have a measure of self-control. But sometimes I have that moment of weakness and something comes out of my mouth that should not have said. I always feel like the biggest jerk. Even if the person deserved what I said, I feel horrible.

Thanks to everyone who shared happy thoughts on the last post. I really loved reading them. They all put a smile on my face.

And here’s some more happiness moments: Dancing to country music in the middle of the street in the middle of the night under a streetlamp. Or climbing a tree for reasons besides a random desire to do so. Jumping in the pool with my clothes on. Putting on red lipstick just because and then puckering up for a picture.

Happiness is a funny thing. The other night, having not been able to sleep, I was lying awake in bed, thinking about my happiest memories. Honestly, they were all little things that totally left an impression on me. I have memories of driving down the rode with my sister and singing “Love Story” along with the radio. (Windows down of course.) There was the epic phone conversation I had Friday night. Oh, there was one night a few weeks ago when I was feeling so stressed and down about everything, so I went outside to be alone. It was dark, and the moon was in a crescent shape. Bare feet and all, I hopped on my brother’s scooter and just started riding up and down the street. My hair was down and was flying every which way. I was happy right then. For some perfect and unexplainable reason, I was happy. Happiness is also finishing my school early and realizing that I can do whatever I want for the rest of the day. Writing something decent used to be a form of happiness. Now I would just be happy if I could write anything, no matter how good/bad it is. Other happy things… Hmm… Reading for hours without interruption. Journaling page after page after page. Wearing eyeliner for no good reason besides the fact that you decided to do something totally random and different. Singing “Hey There, Delilah” in the shower. (Hot water, of course.) Realizing that you can be understood. (This is only happy when you want to be understood by the person who is understanding you.)
So that was on my mind last night.
Any particularly happy memories you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them.